


the hardest part of this (is leaving you)

by m_x_r_f



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Boston Bruins, Distance, Light Angst, M/M, Regret, im bad at tagging, sean is bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:46:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23190365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_x_r_f/pseuds/m_x_r_f
Summary: Sean wasn’t a pessimist. So, he found it in himself to get back up. Let the ice soothe the pain in his heart. He was never any good at goodbyes. But he was pretty damn good at hockey, he supposed.orThe words Sean never said.
Relationships: Danton Heinen/Sean Kuraly
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17





	the hardest part of this (is leaving you)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: if you or anybody you know personally is mentioned here, i do not suggest you read this.
> 
> This is my first time posting on ao3, so I’m not really sure if I’m doing something wrong or not. I’m on mobile too, to top it off haha.
> 
> I’m not a very good writer, but the Heinen trade left me emotional and I’ll never be over it. I just had to write this
> 
> The title is from ‘Cancer’ by My Chemical Romance.

The season was going so much better than Sean could have ever imagined. After the bye week, the Bruins erupted. Game after game, win after win. They rose to the top of the league and refused to budge. Sean felt like he was on top of the world.

Crazy how in only a month you can go from feeling that triumphant, to feeling as vulnerable as Sean did on that Monday afternoon. Maybe it was just an extra kick in the gut.

Sean wasn’t a pessimist. So, he found it in himself to get back up. Let the ice soothe the pain in his heart. He was never any good at goodbyes. But he was pretty damn good at hockey, he supposed.

Maybe he was being punished by some sort of twisted hockey gods for the times he thought he could let his mind wander. For the times he dared to dream of lifting the cup over his head in the midst of screaming fans. For the times he envisioned looking Danton in the eyes, mouthing ‘we did it,’ and handing that cup to the man he fell in love with.

Yeah. This has to be some sort of karma. Because now, there’s no Danton. And with his luck, there won’t be a cup either.

Or maybe there will be a cup. Maybe they will win it on home ice. Maybe holding it will bring him feelings so unexplainable and he’ll be glad he worked his whole life to be a Boston Bruin. There will be no Danton though.

Maybe Sean will hand the cup over to Jake instead. Maybe he’ll watch Jake take it with pride, and probably scream something so awfully stupid as he raises it, that Sean can’t help but roll his eyes. But still, Danton won’t be there.

A cup would be great. phenomenal. Extraordinary. Danton would be better.

But now, there are unspoken words that follow Sean around everywhere. And maybe they will follow him for the rest of his life. There are millions of them, like a puzzle that Sean puts together and takes apart, but has yet to find a perfect fit. Endless sentences. but in the end, they all mean the same thing; I’m in love with you.

And now those words stalk him through an airport where his flight is being called. He collects his single suitcase and heads to the front. He’s never seen a plane as vacant as it is now. Maybe he can sleep. And when he wakes up, he will have safely landed in Ohio.

Sean was never any good at goodbyes.

When Danton was leaving for Anaheim, every single one of those millions of words were on the tip of Sean’s tongue. Sean forgot how to arrange them. He forgot where each piece fit. I’m in love with you was the sentence that rested in the back of his throat. But he couldn’t say it. 

Danton had wrapped his arms around Sean, who marveled at how his teammate could say so much, but so little all at once. When Danton let go, he took the words with him. 

Sean has so many words, but not one of them is I’m in love with you. Because Danton is across the country and with him are those unspoken words that Sean never had the courage to utter into Danton’s neck. 

And Sean’s probably never getting those back.

Doesn’t matter. Danton can have them. 

Sean probably wouldn’t have spoken them anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> I would greatly appreciate it if you checked out my tumblr: bostonbottoms 
> 
> i’m also on twitter @kindahockey :)


End file.
